DETENTION ***

USA: Joseph Kahn, 2011

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Another late screening I missed at FrightFest 2011, watching DETENTION at home on the small screen I can't help but think this would've have been more enjoyable with a crowd. Written (along with Mark Palermo) and directed by Joseph Kahn this post-modern-postmodern slasher fires reference after reference at you: often visually and verbally at the same time. Undoubtedly, dynamic and even anarchic in the best possible way DETENTION starts at a frantic pace and never stops for air.

Now I like a movie or cultural reference as much as the next man and this film delivers them in spades - in fact I don't mind admitting I probably missed more than I got - but there's always the danger of that self-reflexiveness becoming something akin to visual and aural noise. Thankfully, DETENTION has some likeable characters, impressive digital effects and the odd gory death to safe it from the void.

The Count's Verdict: I've heard DETENTION described as the film SCREAM 4 should've been and I can certainly get on board with that. However, it still doesn't alter the fact that often slavish fixation on all things meta is largely superficial and dated at its inception no matter how knowing or fun the enterprise.

ROGUE RIVER *½

USA: Jourdan McClure, 2012

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This was another FrightFest 2011 omission on my part (I was off in the Disco Screen watching Paul Naschy doc THE MAN WHO MADE FRANKENSTEIN CRY) and with heinsight, having now seen ROGUE RIVER , I can't say I regret skipping it.

After a brief but potentially all too revealing pre-credit sequence which shows us a climatic scene from the end of the film, this low-budget US exploitation flick begins in an ok manner with a very sparse score accompanying aerial shots (think THE SHINING) of a car snaking its way across the landscape.

We soon learn that Mara (Michelle Page) is visiting the titular 'Rogue River' to scatter the remains of her deceased father. However, Mara is prevented from doing so by seemingly harmless busybody Jon (Bill Moseley) due to lack of a permit. Various plot contrivances ensue to establish the set-up of Mara being kept against her will in the home of the unhinged Jon and his sister/lover Lea (Lucinda Jenney).

The problem is you simply don't care as it all feels so derivative and plodding. The writing and pace isn't the film's only flaw as fatally the lead, Michelle Page, lacks any discernible charisma or screen presence resulting in clunky lines of dialogue being delivered in an equally tepid manner. Sadly, Mara's plight and failed attempts at escape only managed to raise my wrist to check the time rather than raise my pulse.

As the full homicidal lunacy of the her captors is revealed the body count rises but despite the best efforts of Moseley and Jenney I found their tyranny to be a bore rather than a threat. Seemingly aware that despite its short 80 minute running time the plot is running out of ideas the script then throws in an attempted shock twist that made me audibly groan with disdain. Not only is this knowingly tabboo reveal in bad taste it is rendered almost mute by the fact many other recent horror films have also done something similar in a far more effective way.

The film doesn't even have the grace to end where we begin as it not only replays the film's pre-credit sequence, it then has a very ill-judged coda whereby the nonsensical revelation alluded to earlier is taken then to a conclusion which leaves a bitter taste in your mouth - couched as it is in an idea of far greater significance than it deserves.

The Count's Verdict: You've literally scene everything in ROGUE RIVER before but done with far more imagination and craft. Don't bother with it.

THE THEATRE BIZARRE ***½

USA/France/Canada: Jeremy Kasten, Richard Stanley, Buddy Giovinazzo, Tom Savini,Douglas Buck, Karim Hussain and David Gregory, 2011

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This was one of two horror anthologies (the lacklustre CHILLERAMA was the other) which I was gutted to miss at FrightFest 2011 due to their twilight screening hour and my need to catch the last train home.

Having finally caught up with THE THEATRE BIZARRE its some way short of previous FrightFest fave TRICK 'R TREAT but a welcome addition to the modern portmanteau horror film nonetheless.

The film is bookended by an effective wraparound story revolving around a silent female spectator drawn into an abandoned and eerily strange cinema - the titular 'Theatre Bizarre' - where upon genre icon Udo Kier acts as our guide introducing each of the film's five tales (Mother of Toads, I Love You, Wet Dreams, The Accident, Vision Stains and Sweets).

Like most omnibus films not all the stories work and are of varying quality in terms of directing, photography, acting, effects, plot etc. First up we have 'Mother of Toads' - perhaps only notable for having Fulci 'scream queen' Catriona MacColl hamming it up as a French Lovecraftian crack-pot. Things soon improve - particularly in the writing and acting department - with 'I Love You'. Bleak it may be but full of memorable darkly heart-breaking dialogue. 'Wet Dreams' serves up Tom Savini as a shrink and his customary gore effects abound.

The tone shifts dramatically for 'The Accident' and director Douglas Buck executes a simple thematic idea in a genuinely affecting way - surely the epitome of what a 10-15 minute short film component of a horror anthology should do.

Then 'Vision Stains' starts strong but fails to fulfil its potential, particularly in the segment's climatic scene. Closing the anthology is the delightfully demented 'Sweets' which along with 'Wet Dreams' perhaps best personifies the 'Grand Guignol' antics THE THEATRE BIZARRE is so keen to evoke.

The Count's Verdict: Not a threat to TRICK 'R TREAT's crown as the best of contemporary anthology horror films but an interesting diversion all the same. Worth seeing for 'The Accident' story alone which is damn near perfect.

CHILLERAMA **

USA: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin and Tim Sullivan, 2011

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Seeing as I love a good anthology horror film and reflecting on what a rarity modern portmanteau movies are I was gutted to miss out on this at last year's FrightFest. Having now seen CHILLERAMA I realise my folly in thinking this might have been worth missing the last train home for and my condolences for those that did brave the twilight screening. This just might be my biggest disappointment of the entire festival.

Things get off to a rather spirited start with a suitably grim title sequence but any gothic mood is almost immediately undone by a painfully laughless and puerile opening scene shot in lifeless black and white photography. This soon skews into a colorised framing story set at an old fashioned drive-in theatre populated by irritatingly vapid characters who take turns to deliver forced cine-literate lines that will make your heart sink.

All pretence that CHILLERAMA might actually equal the omnibus films from which it is derived is soon dispensed with as the words 'Wadzilla' appear onscreen. Aiming somewhere between the humour of the giant Boob running amok in Woody Allen's EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK and the nostalgia of fifties SF B-movies, 'Wadzilla' succeeds in raising a chortle but overstays its welcome all too soon. Painfully, one note the gags run dry well before the short running time.

Next up is the amateurish tedium 'I Was Once Teenage Warebear'.
Whatever good feeling 'Wadzilla' managed to raise in its audience this crass comedic farce soon replaces with fatigue as the wheels fall off this segment pretty much as soon as it begins. Thankfully, the stupid but entertaining 'Diary of Anne Frankenstein' soon arrives and saves this mediocrity from being a one-star film.

Sadly though, the tired closing 'Zom B Movie' which brings this anthology to a laboured close epitomises the lacklustre approach of CHILLERAMA. Devoid of genuine scares, laughs or ideas the filmmakers stubbornly go for gross out per-pubescent cock and fart jokes ad nausea until you begin to appreciate why so few horror anthologies are now made.

The Count's Verdict: If you've the appetite for horror anthologies you'll check this out. Just go in with your brain in your ballsack and an expectation only that CHILLERAMA will pass the time.

(*) A LONELY PLACE TO DIE ***½

UK: Julian Gilbey, 2011

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TUCKER AND DALE VS EVIL ***½

USA/Canada: Eli Craig, 2010

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A LONELY PLACE TO DIE ***½

UK: Julian Gilbey, 2011

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INBRED **½

Germany/UK: Alex Chandon, 2011

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SENNENTUNTSCHI: CURSE OF THE ALPS ****

Original Title: Sennentuntschi
Switzerland: Michael Steiner, 2010

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KILL LIST ****

UK: Ben Wheatley, 2011

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SAINT ***

Original Title: Sint
Netherlands: Dick Maas, 2010

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THE INNKEEPERS ***½

USA: Ti West, 2011

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THE DIVIDE **½

Germany/USA/Canada: Xavier Gens, 2011

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THE WOMAN **½

USA: Lucky McKee, 2011

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THE WICKER TREE ***

UK: Robin Hardy, 2010

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TROLL HUNTER ****

Original Title: Trolljegeren
Norway: Andre Ovredal, 2010

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KIDNAPPED ****

Original Title: Secuestrados
Spain/France: Miguel Angel Vivas, 2010

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THE GLASS MAN ****

UK: Cristian Solimeno, 2011

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MIDNIGHT SON ***½

USA: Scott Leberecht, 2011

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A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE ***½

USA/Japan: Adam Wingard, 2010

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