DETENTION ***

USA: Joseph Kahn, 2011

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Another late screening I missed at FrightFest 2011, watching DETENTION at home on the small screen I can't help but think this would've have been more enjoyable with a crowd. Written (along with Mark Palermo) and directed by Joseph Kahn this post-modern-postmodern slasher fires reference after reference at you: often visually and verbally at the same time. Undoubtedly, dynamic and even anarchic in the best possible way DETENTION starts at a frantic pace and never stops for air.

Now I like a movie or cultural reference as much as the next man and this film delivers them in spades - in fact I don't mind admitting I probably missed more than I got - but there's always the danger of that self-reflexiveness becoming something akin to visual and aural noise. Thankfully, DETENTION has some likeable characters, impressive digital effects and the odd gory death to safe it from the void.

The Count's Verdict: I've heard DETENTION described as the film SCREAM 4 should've been and I can certainly get on board with that. However, it still doesn't alter the fact that often slavish fixation on all things meta is largely superficial and dated at its inception no matter how knowing or fun the enterprise.

THE FINAL TERROR **½

aka Carnivore
USA: Andrew Davis, 1983

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PIECES ***½

Original Title: Mil gritos tiene la noche
Spain/USA/Puerto Rico: Juan Piquer Simón, 1982

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My understanding of this film was that it was an infamously 'so bad it's good' low-budget 80s slasher'. To my delight, having seen it, I would largely agree. PIECES is all of that and more... Its a fun and enjoyable giallo.

BUT is it supposed to be so awfully dubbed?! I realise part of the pleasure to be derived from watching 'a fun dumb movie' are the elements that simply don't work but PIECES does have a degree of intention behind it which is often over looked. It has an effective instrumental score, passably hokey plot and a sexually deranged black gloved killer going about their business. It is far from the worst slasher/giallo I've seen and is actually far more entertaining than most. BUT it is mired but a truly awful dubbing job which gives the film a sense of amateurishness that actually does it a disservice.

The Count's Verdict: An unexpected triumph in terms of meshing cheese of 80s slashers with the most entertainingly silly gialli of 70s. Well worth a watch for laughs and entertainment that surpasses plenty of the mediocrity which bloats the giallo/slasher belly.

INTRUDER ***½

aka Night Crew
USA: Scott Spiegel, 1989

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A joy! Scott Spiegel's INTRUDER captures cheesy 80s vibe of fun slashers like CHOPPING MALL, mixing it with some of slasherdom's most inventive & gory kills.

The Count's Verdict: A largely forgotten gem from the heyday of slasherdom. Seek it out!

FRIDAY THE 13TH - PART V: A NEW BEGINNING **½

USA: Danny Steinmann, 1985

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Alas, FRIDAY THE 13TH - PART V: A NEW BEGINNING was a rather lacklustre affair. Plot dull, kills weak but thankfully amble boobage.

The Count's Verdict: Worth seeing if only to confirm whether you have seen it before or not (I honestly couldn't remember until the boobs came out and I thought 'no, I've not been genuinely surprised at the size of that brunette's bosom before'.

CRIMINALLY INSANE 2 *

aka Crazy Fat Ethel 2
USA: Nick Millard, 1987

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CRIMINALLY INSANE 2 aka CRAZY FAT ETHEL 2 is a piss poor zero-budget non-entity of a slasher film with ugly camcorder visuals. This mess of a sequel replays all significant and insignificant scenes from the first film for no other reason one would assume than it’s easier than actually coming up with a new storyline.

The Count's Verdict: I may have finally found what has to be THE worst slasher film, beating off some stiff competition. Fuckin’ awful. Ranks at the very bottom of the bottom rung of slashers.

CRIMINALLY INSANE **½

USA: Nick Millard, 1975

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Expectations set low for this one and CRIMINALLY INSANE proved to be an ultra-low budget (short) slasher in grindhouse tradition which had it’s moments. Would rank pretty far down the slasher pantheon though, rubbing scuzzy shoulders with likes of SPLATTER UNIVERSITY and FATAL GAMES.

The Count's Verdict: Dedicated fans of slashers or US grindhouse flicks need only apply. If you can look past the zero budget production values and general amateurish nature of the whole project there are the odd moments to enjoy.

BLACK CHRISTMAS **

aka Black X-Mas
USA: Glen Morgan, 2006

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Passable but utterly futile slasher remake which can only measure up as facile and forgettable compared to the groundbreaking original.

The Count's Verdict: Watch only to underline the superior quality of Bob Clark's original.

(*) BLACK CHRISTMAS ****

Canada: Bob Clark, 1974

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HUMONGOUS **½

Canada: Paul Lynch, 1982

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Even watching this on a fuzzy VHS copy the opening scene was pretty damn grim. Luckily the dumb teens soon arrive featuring a cast/plot which smacks of a fun 'Scooby-Doo' vibe & the film has some suitably cheesy 80s paraphernalia & fashions.

However, ultimately it's all a bit meh. The incredibly dark & rough VHS image transfer can't of helped matters. The audio in particular is very poor on the version I watched. Even so despite the shortcomings of the audio/visual presentation there's no denying the fun to be had with the wooden acting!

The Count's Verdict: In desperate need of a DVD release to aid shoddy audio-visual presentation but no matter how good it looked or sounded this is a pretty silly and forgettable slasher.

NIGHT SCHOOL ***

aka Terror Eyes
USA: Ken Hughes, 1981

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Rather slow and relatively tame slasher film which bafflingly was identified as a 'video nasty' by the DPP during the 80s in Britain. The plot does boast a playfully bizarre 'head hunter' killer, dressed in bikers' black leather and helmet, brandishing a machete who decapitates victims to stage grisly tableaux featuring water akin to an ancient African ritual. NIGHT SCHOOL also has some memorable kills with the stalk and slash sequence set in an aquarium a particular stand out. Finally, the film is notable for the debut appearance of actress Rachel Ward who gives an unintentionally hilarious wooden performance as the lead.

The Count's Verdict: Worth a watch for 80s slasher enthusiasts otherwise it may prove a little too languid in pace for a more mainstream audience.

THE LAST SLUMBER PARTY *

USA: Stephen Tyler, 1988

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ISLAND OF BLOOD *½

aka Whodunit?/ Scared Alive
USA: William T. Naud, 1982

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(*) BODYCOUNT ***

Original Title: Camping del terrore
Italy/USA: Ruggero Deodato, 1987

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BODYCOUNT - UNCUT **½

Original Title: Camping del terrore
Italy/USA: Ruggero Deodato, 1987

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SPLATTER UNIVERSITY **

USA: Richard W. Haines, 1984

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SCREAM 4 **½

Original Title: Scre4m
USA: Wes Craven, 2011

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INCUBUS ***½

Canada: John Hough, 1982

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(*) SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN: A HISTORY OF THE SLASHER FILM (TV) ****

UK: Andrew Abbott and Russell Leven, 2000

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CHOPPING MALL ***

aka Killbots
USA: Jim Wynorski, 1986

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